How would you like to always be success­ful at every­thing you do? I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is you’re going to fail. It’s happened and it will always happen. The good news it that you’ve always been success­ful and will continue to be.

Failure is unavoid­able because of uncer­tainty. Failure is not an option; it’s a neces­sity. It’s the result of taking risks and a path for feed­back. Success is assured because we always get results. Our judge­ment of the result does not mean there was not an outcome, and any outcome means some­thing worked, even if it was unde­sir­able.

You are success­ful at every­thing you do. The strate­gies you try get a certain result. They are success­ful at getting that result, even if it’s not the result you want. You can success­fully use the wrong strat­egy.

Strategies aren’t just busi­ness and market­ing tactics, but the entire constel­la­tion of approaches, beliefs, actions, and feel­ings that result in a specific outcome.

When you started to learn to ride your bike, you prob­a­bly crashed it or fell off many times. You could say you got really good at the “crash­ing bike strat­egy”. Maybe it was how you were think­ing, or what you were focus­ing on, or what you were feel­ing or avoid­ing feel­ing, or the way you moved your body. One or some of those contributed to crash­ing. Through feed­back and differ­ent approaches, you even­tu­ally figured out what worked, and found an appro­pri­ate strat­egy for the result you wanted; i.e. riding a bike.

The follow­ing is a quote from Edison refer­ring to invent­ing the light­bulb:

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” ‑Thomas A. Edison

One of the best reframes I’ve had was that “there’s no such thing as fail­ure, only feed­back.” It taught me that fail­ing just meant learn­ing if I paid atten­tion, and that through conscious fail­ures, I was actu­ally getting closer to what I wanted. I was learn­ing what didn’t work, and most impor­tantly, that led me to make new choices.

It didn’t make the rejec­tions, fail­ures, and frus­tra­tions any more fun or take the suck away. What it did do was create the approach of growth and learn­ing, so that no expe­ri­ence left me less or worse if it taught me some­thing.

This is not just about seman­tics and trite reframes!

Understand that where you are in life—the current results you’re getting and how you feel—are all success­ful results based on how you once saw the world. These beliefs, energy config­u­ra­tions, trau­mas, world­views, and percep­tions oper­ate out of your conscious aware­ness and drive your deci­sions. It is not the econ­omy or fate, but this subcon­scious system that oft dictates what we’ll be success­ful at.

This all stems from millions of choices we’ve made, most in microsec­onds, completely forgot­ten. Who we decided we were or could be. What we thought we were worth. How people should treat us. What success looks like. What we should or shouldn’t do. How we’re unlov­able. How much money we deserve. How creative we are.

Our genet­ics can be expressed in thou­sands of ways from one single genome. One person has thou­sands of poten­tial phys­i­cal outcomes from their DNA, all affected by their response to their envi­ron­ment and the choices they make. Your choices about who you think you are and how the world works, liter­ally affects the expres­sion of your genes and phys­i­cal appear­ance.

And of course, it deter­mines the results in life you get.

If you believe on some level you don’t deserve 100k/m in revenue, the path, prod­ucts, and resources to get there won’t even show up on your radar or cross your mind. You will select the strat­egy which will success­fully lead you to the income you feel you deserve. Or, perhaps you do end up making that much, but sabo­tage your­self with a success­ful take-out strat­egy to confirm your belief.

Remember, most of this happens completely uncon­scious for most people unless they culti­vate incred­i­ble self awareness—like we’re doing here.

The beau­ti­ful thing is that we can make new choices. Not the right or wrong choices, but differ­ent choices that get differ­ent results.

Imagine two people in the same indus­try, one making 1k and the other 100k a month in revenue, work­ing the same hours. One isn’t doing 100x less or more of the same thing—they are oper­at­ing completely differ­ently inter­nally and exter­nally.

There is noth­ing wrong with making $1000/m or $100,000/m. One is not inher­ently better or worse, right or wrong. However the strate­gies, the world­view, the beliefs, and actions are going to vary dras­ti­cally between the two people. The way they think and feel will vary. The way they move through the world and solve prob­lems will be differ­ent.

Suppose both of them were trying to make 1 million a month. In that case, they both “failed” at achiev­ing that outcome. However, both are success­ful using the strate­gies for their given income level. They also got feed­back that what they were doing didn’t work, and if they were paying attention—rather than judg­ing, blam­ing, or avoiding—that data could move them closer to their desired result.

We all have strate­gies that work—that’s why we use them. On some level, they vali­date how feel we deserve to be treated, and so we think that’s just how life is. The ques­tion is, are they getting us the results we TRULY want in life and busi­ness?

Plot twist—this isn’t about fail­ing or succeed­ing, it’s about feed­back and new choices.

Once you under­stand that what you’re doing works (that’s why you’re doing it), you see that you’re an expert at the wrong strat­egy. Once you under­stand that fail­ure is only feed­back, you see that it’s not even a real event, just a judge­ment of the data.

This shift frees up all that energy we have tied up in the fear of fail­ure or success. The fear of fail­ing and the response to fail­ing, are more crip­pling to an entre­pre­neur than fail­ure itself! The fear of fail­ure para­lyzes us, and our response to fail­ing traps us. The fear of success also para­lyzes us, as we don’t take action because we don’t yet know how to handle more ease, love, support, inti­macy, respon­si­bil­ity, and abun­dance.

Take risks and make mistakes, then learn from them. Fail forward smartly. Be will­ing to take up more space and be crit­i­cized for letting your­self have what others won’t. See the bigger picture of your growth, it’s not going to look how you think. Micro fail­ure, macro success.

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY CHALLENGE

Partake in 30 days of vulner­a­bil­ity, radi­cal honesty, and trans­for­ma­tion. You’ll get greater results by shar­ing your own expe­ri­ence with your audi­ence. Save and share one of the below graph­ics on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter with the #isthe­p­rocess hash­tag and get support from all of us!

Community Discussion